strangefootball

A friend of mine (helloheather asked me who is in the playoffs, and who she should root for, and why. She lives in Chicagoland, and the Bears are not in the playoffs, and she really doesn't follow football all that much... so I love being asked this question.

I've told her that I'm not going to tell her who to root for (coughcoughColtscoughcough), but rather I'd tell her the stories of the teams that made it in.

So this is going to be written for a casual fan of football. In fact, it's going to be written as if Heather has only watched a couple football games in her life... Heather, if some of this is too simple and obvious for you, forgive me. I don't know exactly how much you follow, so I'm going to assume "next to none."


The NFL is made up of two conferences -- the AFC (American Football Conference) and the NFC (National Football Conference). Unlike in baseball, where the American League and National League actually have some rules differences, there is essentially no difference, on paper, between the two conferences. The Super Bowl is always played between the two conference champions.

Each conference has four divisions (North, East, South, West), made up of four teams. Each division automatically sends a team to the playoffs. Each of those eight division winners gets a home game.

The other four teams that make the playoffs are the "Wild Card" teams. Those are the two teams from each conference with the best records (and, if necessary, other tiebreakers come into play). It is possible for a Wild Card team to have a better record than a team that wins a different division. Clear as mud?

So.

AFC
WILD CARD -- SEED #6
Baltimore Ravens: record 11-5
Last year, the Ravens were a pretty bad team, finishing with a record of 5-11, which included a nine-game losing streak. They were the only team to lose to last year's miserable 1-15 Miami Dolphins. Despite this, they ended up with a very tough schedule this year, playing half of their games against teams that had been in the playoffs the season before. To top it all off, they came into this season with an aging defense, but a rookie quarterback, Joe Flacco, drafted from Delaware -- a school that was not known as a football powerhouse, and a rookie head coach, John Harbaugh, who had never been a head coach at any level. Despite all the elements working against them, the Ravens managed to make it to the playoffs, and their defensive player Ed Reed led the league in interceptions. The Ravens have a reputation as a group of tough players with questionable ethics... okay, "thugs"... but in recent years this reputation seems undeserved.
My take: I'm not a Ravens fan by any stretch, but they do have quite a story this season.

WILD CARD -- SEED #5
Indianapolis Colts: record 12-4
This year, the Colts became the first team to ever finish 6 consecutive seasons with 12 wins; Tony Dungy became the first coach to reach the playoffs 10 consecutive times (including his years with Tampa Bay and Indianapolis). Peyton Manning became the second player to be awarded the NFL MVP three times. All of this in spite of the fact that their running game has earned the lowest success rates of the decade, and the team's 3-4 start. Peyton Manning had an infected bursa sac prior to the season, and the resulting surgeries and rehab put them on a very rough path. In October, it looked as if they might have a losing season, but the team pulled together and went on a nine-game winning streak, defeating some of the best teams in the league on the way. This will almost definitely be Tony Dungy's last season as a coach, as he has strongly hinted that he intends to retire. It may also be the last season in Indy for perennial favorite Marvin Harrison, who is starting to show signs of slowing down towards the end of a Hall of Fame career. They are definitely not underdogs no matter who they face, although they have shown susceptibility to a solid run game and to certain types of defensive schemes.
My take: Obviously, this is my team; I can't make you root for them, but I'll never understand why some people dislike this team.

AFC WEST CHAMPION -- SEED #4
San Diego Chargers: record 8-8
The Chargers were hurt early by a bad call from referee Ed Hochuli that lost them a game against division rival Denver. They were 4-8 at the beginning of December, but a four-game win streak combined with a horrible collapse on Denver's part put them back in charge of their division. Their two major running and receiving threats, LaDainian Tomlinson (LT) and Antonio Gates, are both questionable with injuries. They do still have an incredibly high-rated quarterback, Philip Rivers, but they have yet to beat a truly good team this season, and their pass defense is ranked 31 (out of 32) in the league.
My take: Frankly, I can't stand these guys. Their coach, Norv Turner, is one of the most frustratingly bad coaches I've ever seen, and their quarterback is a whiny diva. I know I said I wouldn't tell you who to root for, but I'd love it if you rooted against the Chargers. And I'd love it even if they weren't playing against the Colts.

AFC EAST CHAMPION -- SEED #3
Miami Dolphins: record 11-5
The Dolphins were the worst team in football last year, with a 1-15 record. And, as one writer put it, they came back with a rookie head coach (he was a college head coach for five years a decade ago, but never in the NFL), a quarterback who was believed to be past his prime and too fragile to compete, a running back who had been banished to Canada as a pothead a couple years back, and an offensive formation not seen in the pros for decades -- and they just keep winning important games. They're a rags-to-riches story, in a way, and a lot of the credit goes to Bill Parcells -- a guy who is equal parts football genius and arrogant jerk, who was put in charge of all football operations including personnel.
My take: Being a Colts fan, I'd like to see Indianapolis take the AFC, but if it happens to be Miami, I'll be impressed with the story. Also, they took the AFC East spot from the Patriots, so I'm happy with that.

AFC NORTH CHAPMION -- SEED #2
Pittsburgh Steelers: record 12-4
The Steelers' defense has been renowned for years, but this year it's looked almost unstoppable at times. When most people think of what a football team's defense should do, they think of Pittsburgh. Personalities like soft-spoken, long-haired, power-hitting Troy Polamalu make Pittsburgh fans get more excited about defense than offense. A possible problem for the Steelers: quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was injured during the final game of the regular season. They hope he'll be ready in time for this team's first playoff game, next weekend.
My take: I like the Steelers quite a bit, actually, because their defense is just so fun to watch. Have I mentioned their defense?

AFC SOUTH CHAMPION -- SEED #1
Tennessee Titans: record 13-3
This, to me, was the most surprising team in football. I thought they would go 4-12. Instead, they ended up putting in Kerry Collins -- a guy who has been a starting quarterback for seven different NFL teams, including playing as a New York Giants for a Super Bowl about eight years ago. Rookie running back Chris Johnson has proven to be a valuable player due to his speed and agility. Albert Haynesworth, a player once suspended for stomping an opponent's head at the end of a play, and fellow defensive player Kyle VandenBosch have been vicious and efficient at stopping opponents, but both are trying to heal from injuries before their first game, next weekend.
My take: they're rivals to the Colts, so I don't like them much on principle, but I do think their coach, Jeff Fisher, is a decent guy -- and there's something appealing about a last-chance guy like Collins getting a shot at another big game.


NFC
WILD CARD -- SEED #6
Philadelphia Eagles: record 9-6-1
I'm not even sure what to tell you about the Eagles. They've won big games in blowouts, and they've lost big games through stupid mistakes. Both the quarterback, Donovan McNabb, and the head coach, Andy Reid, have been there for ten years, including four NFC Championships and one Super Bowl (lost, due to mistakes by both of them). Rumor has it that if they don't win, both could be looking for new jobs next season.
My take: I like both McNabb and Reid, but rooting for them almost feels like you're rooting for Sonny the Cuckoo Bird to get the Cocoa Puffs. They probably deserve it, and they've come so close, but it's hard to believe they'll ever get it done.

WILD CARD -- SEED #5
Atlanta Falcons: record 11-5
You want a story? How about this? A team's star quarterback -- at one point, the highest-paid quarterback in the history of the league -- is indicted for dogfighting. The new coach quits with a month left to go to take a college job three days after promising the owner that he won't; he leaves a note for the players, but doesn't talk to any of them individually. The players aren't surprised -- he never even told his quarterbacks from week to week who was playing. The team goes 4-12, and the next year they end up with a rookie quarterback (Matt Ryan) and a rookie head coach. That's right -- this is the third team in the playoffs with a rookie head coach, and the second with a rookie quarterback. Another rags-to-riches story.
My take: Matt Ryan has blown me away. Unless this year turns out to be a fluke, this kid's got an incredible year ahead of him.

NFC WEST CHAMPION -- SEED #4
Arizona Cardinals: record 9-7
This team has struggled for years and years and years. Much like the Titans, the Cardinals drafted a young quarterback but have fallen back on their veteran -- Kurt Warner. This team has the best pair of receivers in the league, but their running game has struggled to the point of being laughable. The only people who seem to think they'll get out of the first round are pointing to their opponent's weakness in road games.
My take: The passing game is endlessly exciting, but it seems unlikely we'll get much out of them unless they go on a real Cinderella streak. This is too bad. The last time they had a home playoff game was in 1947, when they were the Chicago Cardinals.

NFC NORTH CHAMPION -- SEED #3
Minnesota Vikings: record 10-6
The Vikings, much like the Cardinals, primarily got in to the playoffs not so much on their own strength, but on their division's weakness. Their passing game has struggled despite occasional flashes of brilliance from their athletic but slow-thinking quarterback, Tarvaris Jackson, and despite a significant reduction in drops from Bernard Berrian (formerly the Butterfingers of the Bears) and Visanthe Shiancoe (who holds the dubious distinction of being the first NFL player shown naked -- albeit accidentally -- on network TV in quite some time). However, they have a not-so-secret weapon: Adrian Peterson, nicknamed "All Day" and "Purple Jesus." Possibly the best runner in the NFL, he occasionally picks up the entire team and carries it down the field.
My take: Peterson is good, but there's no way the Vikings go deep. If not for some unexpected struggles from the Bears and Packers, the Vikings wouldn't even be here.

NFC SOUTH CHAMPION -- SEED #2
Carolina Panthers: record 12-4
It's hard to call this team a surprise, because it's been impossible to figure out what they'll do from season to season. Their quarterback has returned from a surgery that many thought could derail his career; their star wide receiver was suspended for two games by the team for sucker-punching a teammate during training camp; and their two wide receivers have frightened team after team after team until nobody wants to face them. Their offense is exciting and deserves more attention than the national media give them.
My take: A friend once said the Indianapolis Colts were the Neil Diamond of the NFL. They have their fan base, to be sure, but most people just kind of shrug and accept them -- but if you play "Sweet Caroline" in a bar, everybody will join in to sing, "Dah, dah, dahhhhhn!" ...and if the Colts are on a TV in a sports bar, everybody will watch. Well, the Panthers are the Collective Soul of the NFL. I only know a couple people who think they suck, but I also only know a couple people who get excited about them. Most folks know they're good at what they do, but most people don't really care. As a friend who used to live in Raleigh said to me once, "I'm a huge Panthers fan... and even I don't really care about them."

NFC EAST CHAMPION -- SEED #1
New York Giants: record 12-4
Last year's Super Bowl champion, who went from being a long-shot to one of America's favorite teams when they pulled off the most stunning upset in Super Bowl history. (I still maintain their final series of plays was Super Bowl 42's Improbability Drive. If you're not a geek, ask one why that's funny. If he doesn't know, ask him if he watches football.) Eli Manning has matured from an inconsistent quarterback to a not-as-inconsistent quarterback, but their success revolves around the fact that this team plays as a team.
My take: Personally, I'd like to see a Peyton-vs-Eli game. You'll hear a lot from the media (many of whom are based in New York) about this team, both positive and negative. For me, even though I like the Giants, it gets old quick.

This weekend:
Atlanta Falcons at Arizona Cardinals
Indianapolis Colts at San Diego Chargers
Baltimore Ravens at Miami Dolphins
Philadelphia Eagles at Minnesota Vikings